Well, Jenna reflected, gazing at the mute and
mutinous child in front of her, she couldn’t say she hadn’t been warned.
Half
term was over, and Krystal had returned Flora to her father, before jetting
back to California and her TV show. On
Tuesday evening, the day before the regular Wednesday after school session,
Fran had phoned. “I don’t know what’s
up, but she’s turned into a right wee besom.
Sulky, tetchy, won’t tell me what’s wrong, spends most of her time in
her room.”
“Perhaps
she’s just missing her mum, and wishing she could go to California too,” Jenna
had said, looking on the bright side.
“After a week or so back in her usual routine, with all her friends, I’m
sure she’ll revert to normal.”
“I’m
not sure Flora is ever normal,” said Fran, and she could sense his wry grimace
as clearly as if visible on Skype.
“Anyway, I thought I’d better warn you, she’s not all sweetness and light
at the moment.”
“I’ve
come across much worse in my time,” Jenna told him, with more confidence than
she actually felt. “I’m sure I’ll cope.”
“I’m
sure you will, hen, didn’t want you to come here tomorrow unprepared, that’s
all.”
Even
so, Flora’s sullen expression had come as a shock. For a moment, Jenna wondered if it could be a
reaction to what had happened the previous week: then she remembered that of
course the girl couldn’t know about it, though they’d planned to tell her this
evening. She couldn’t help feeling
nervous about it: how would Flora react to the news that her father had a new
girlfriend, and that the girlfriend was her tutor?
Fran
hadn’t thought it would be a problem.
“She likes you. She likes
me. She’ll be fine with it, don’t you
worry. She’s not bothered about
Krystal’s boyfriends, so why should she be bothered about you? It’s not as if you’re some total stranger,
after all.” And he’d hugged her
reassuringly.
Much
to Jenna’s amusement, after the revelations of Monday night, they had agreed to
‘take it slow’. It didn’t seem quite the
right expression for the enthusiastic snogging they’d indulged in, that first
evening. She’d felt like a teenager
again, and she suspected it was the same for Fran. To add to the air of unreality, their amorous
mood had been completely shattered when Artemis, tired of being ignored, had
attempted a flying leap from the back of the sofa onto Jenna’s head.
Once
they had managed to get their rather hysterical laughter under control, and
Fran had mopped up the blood and put antiseptic cream on the scratches, she
made a pot of tea and they talked for hours.
This was all so new for both of them, and Jenna, in particular, was
cautious, even now wondering whether this would be OK. The memory of Rick’s betrayal and, much more
distantly, Jon’s, still coloured her emotions.
Rationally, she knew that Fran was a very different person, and that he
had an innate integrity that both her husband and her lover had lacked, but her
trust had been destroyed and it was proving difficult to rebuild it.
So
they hadn’t yet gone to bed. Saskia
would be horrified – Jenna could just imagine her reaction. “What? You’re not some fifteen-year-old virgin,
darling, why wait, what have either of you got to lose?” And of course, there wasn’t anything. But this old-fashioned courtship, if that was
the right word for it, was remarkably enjoyable. She didn’t feel pressured, she could just
relax in the moment. And one day very
soon, she knew that the moment would be right.
But
her new feeling of happiness and optimism wouldn’t help her with Flora. She said now, casually, “Did you enjoy that
book you were going to read last week?”
“Didn’t
read it,” said Flora, sulkily, after a pause.
When Jenna made no reply, she added, “Didn’t feel like it.” She folded her arms, and leaned back in her
chair.
“That’s
OK,” Jenna told her. “Sometimes I don’t
feel like doing things either. Did you
read anything else?”
“No.” The word came with finality.
“Or
watch anything on telly?”
“No.”
She
was acutely aware of Fran, making coffee, well within earshot. “OK, then,” she said slowly. “Your call.”
Flora
rolled her eyes and leaned even further back, mutiny in every defiant
line. Jenna thought for a moment. Then, deliberately ignoring her pupil, she
turned her notebook to a fresh page, took up a pen and made six dashes, a
diagonal slash, and seven more dashes.
She could sense the child’s interest, but didn’t look at her. Instead, she drew a careful rectangle below
the dashes.
“What
are you doing?” Flora asked, curiosity evidently overcoming her bad mood.
“Hangman. Do you know how to play?”
“Course
I do, Mrs. Carroll played it with us on the last day of term. What’s the box for?”
“It’s
the base of the gibbet.”
“Gibbet?”
“What
the hanged man hangs from.”
“But
you’re not meant to start that until I’ve given you a wrong letter,” said Flora
indignantly.
“Then
give me one.”
“Can’t
think.”
“What’s
the commonest letter in the English language?”
“E,”
said Flora, after a pause.
Obediently,
Jenna put an E above the penultimate dash in the first word. “And another?”
“A.”
“Sorry.” She drew an upright above the box.
“I,”
Flora said.
There
were three, one in the first word and two in the second. Flora beamed, her stroppiness discarded. Distraction
is ninety-nine per cent of the art of childcare, Jenna thought, with an
inward smile. And of teaching too. “Try a
consonant,” she suggested.
Flora
didn’t ask what a consonant was. “T,”
she suggested. As Jenna obligingly put
it down, she squinted at the emerging words.
“It ends in ‘it’.”
“Certainly
looks like – it. What are you going to
try next?”
An
S was successful, but a D, an L and an M resulted in a cross-beam, a rope and a
disembodied head. Flora studied the
words, then gave a little start. “C?”
As
Jenna wrote it down, the girl gave a little squawk of excitement. “B and U.
There! Biscuit!” Then, as Fran put the mugs on the table next
to them and peered at the page, she added, “No, Dad, don’t tell me!”
“I
wasn’t going to, hen,” said Fran, affronted.
“Because I don’t know either.” He
glanced at Jenna, above his daughter’s sleek dark head, and winked.
“Did
Mrs Carroll tell you about which are the most common letters?” Jenna
prompted. “If you can remember them,
that might help. Or – have you played Scrabble?”
“Course
I have, I got it for Christmas, and there’s a set in our classroom too.”
“Then
think about which letters have the lowest score.”
There
was a pause, and then Flora said, “N.”
“Great.” Jenna inserted one letter. The puzzle now read _IN_E_/BISCUIT. Flora stared at it with a fearsome scowl of
concentration on her face. “R?”
“Correct.”
Jenna put it in.
The
girl gave a sudden whoop of triumph.
“And G! Ginger biscuit!”
“Sorry,”
Fran said. “I haven’t got any, but there
are chocolate Hobnobs if you like.”
They
played several more games of Hangman, and Flora was only hung once, on the
final word, which Jenna had deliberately chosen to be very difficult. Needless to say, she was indignant. “That’s not fair! I’ve never heard of onomatopoeia!”
“It’s
using a word which sounds like the sound it’s describing. Like, cuckoo.
Both the word and the sound.”
“Oh.” Flora digested this. “So the bird’s called after the sound it makes.”
“That’s
exactly it. Can you think of any more?”
That
filled most of the remaining time, and Jenna was happy to see the old Flora
back, clever and enthusiastic. As they sat down on the sofas with more mugs
of tea and a celebratory plate of doughnuts, she said encouragingly, “You’re
coming along really well. You’ll slay
them at that entrance exam.”
Flora’s
face changed suddenly, and she jumped up, sending the sugared doughnuts flying
onto the carpet. “Don’t keep going on
about it! I don’t want to hear about
it! Shut up!” And she ran out of the room. As Fran and Jenna stared after her in
consternation, the front door slammed and a second later the child’s flying
shape passed by the window, heading for the garden.
“What
was all that about?” Jenna asked in bewilderment.
“I
don’t know, but hopefully I’m going to find out. Give me a while, will you, hen?”
In
his absence, Jenna picked up the doughnuts, rearranged them on the plate and
put them by the wood-burner to keep warm.
Then she found a vacuum cleaner and cleared up the crumbs and sugar on
the carpet, before sitting back on the sofa and sipping her tea, which was
growing cool. When Fran hadn’t returned
after twenty minutes, she poured his and Flora’s tea away and boiled the
kettle, ready for fresh replacements.
All the while, Flora’s behaviour nagged at her. Had she changed her mind about going to that
exclusive boarding school? Was that why
she’d been so mutinous and bad-tempered on her return from London? And if so, would Fran be able to do anything
to help? From what he’d let slip,
Krystal wasn’t the sort of woman to be defied, or even persuaded. If she wanted Flora to go to that school,
then Flora would have to go.
Unless,
of course, she deliberately failed the entrance exam.
Just
as she came to this unpalatable conclusion, she heard the front door opening
and closing, and Fran came in, leading a reluctant and obviously sulky Flora by
the hand. The girl came up to the sofa,
and fixed Jenna with a defiant stare.
“Sorry I was rude,” she said.
“Can I go up to my room now?”
Jenna
glanced at Fran, who gave her a nod.
“Yes, of course – and thank you for apologising.”
Flora
muttered something she didn’t catch, turned on her heel and marched out of the
room, shutting the door behind her with rather more than necessary force. Fran sat down beside Jenna, and let out an
explosive sigh. “Sorry about that. She’s not badly-behaved as a rule. Something’s really upset her.”
“Did
you get to the bottom of it?”
“She
wouldn’t tell me, but I think she’s worried about the entrance exam. I tried to reassure her, but that only made
things worse. The best I could get out
of her was that distinctly ungracious apology.
Sorry for that.”
“Don’t
worry. As the parent of a teenage girl
myself, I can tell you, the worst is yet to come. Perhaps she’s hitting puberty a bit early.”
“I
don’t think so. It’s much more likely to
be Krystal being OTT about it. She
probably spent most of last week nagging Flora about working hard and not
wasting her opportunities. Which is a
bit rich, coming from someone who flunked university in her second year.”
“I
expect she doesn’t want her daughter to make the same mistakes she made,” said
Jenna, wanting to be fair.
“Could
be,” Fran said, though he didn’t sound very convinced.
“Or,”
she added slowly, “Flora’s decided she doesn’t want to go to that school.”
There
was a significant silence. Then Fran let
out another, even more explosive sigh, and ran his hand through his hair. “Ah. I
hadn’t thought of that. She seemed so
keen when we first talked about it. Christ,
I hope you’re wrong.”
“So
do I. It would make everything a lot
more difficult, wouldn’t it?” Jenna
paused, and then said reluctantly, “If you want to put off telling her – about
us – I don’t mind. I don’t even mind
cooling it for a bit, until she’s happy and settled.”
Fran
looked at her, and she saw her answer in his face. I
really don’t mind, she thought firmly.
We’re just a middle-aged man and
woman embarking on a relationship that might or might not work out. We’re grown-ups who can be sensible and
unselfish about this. Flora is a child
and her needs have got to come first, always – just as I’ve always put my kids
first.
In
response, he wrapped his arms round her and held her so tightly against him
that she could feel his heart against hers.
“I don’t want to, you know that.
But I don’t think it’d help if we suddenly announced we were an
item. One thing at a time, and she’s got
enough on her plate already. So – yes –
let’s step back a bit and concentrate on her.”
He drew back a little, and gave her a warm, encouraging grin. “There’s no rush, after all. And while she’s unhappy, I can’t be happy.”
“Neither
can I,” Jenna told him, with perfect truth.
She had become very fond of Flora, her quirks and cleverness and bright
laughter, and the child’s well-being was almost as important to her as it was
to Fran. “We can do this, we can help
her, I know it.”
“I
know it too,” Fran said. He bent his
head and kissed her, with warmth and passion, and she knew, even as she
responded, that they could wait a while longer, if it meant that Flora would be
happier.
*
So
they cooled it. In any case, both of
them were busy during the next few weeks. Fran was working on new songs for an American
country singer who wanted to cross over into the mainstream, and threw himself
into the task with a single-minded dedication that Jenna remembered from their
university days, when he had shut himself in his room for hours at a time,
writing and composing. Andrew’s former
assistant had decided to retire, and handed in her notice, so Jenna found
herself, as the approach of spring beckoned tourists and visitors back to
Aldeburgh, working more and more in the shop.
In addition, she was now attending Claire Stephens’s photography course every
Friday evening, and gave Flora an hour’s tuition in Maths and English, twice a
week. Fran hadn’t managed to find out
what had been wrong, that Sunday at the end of half term, but to Jenna’s
relief, it seemed as though the girl was back to her normal self.
And
then there was the thorny question: what to do about Patricia?
She
discussed the problem in a long phone call with Saskia, one Sunday afternoon in
March. By this time, her mother had
returned home, and was apparently being cared for by the devoted Stuart, but
Jenna hadn’t yet summoned up the nerve to phone her: nor had Patricia, it
seemed, felt the urge to get in touch.
At first, she’d been relieved at the lack of contact: now, after nearly
three weeks without a word, she was beginning to feel at once worried and,
perversely, annoyed.
“And
it’s her birthday next week,” she said.
“I’m tempted to send her a card.”
Saskia’s
snort came loud and clear. “Personally
speaking, darling, I wouldn’t waste the price of a stamp on her, but you’re
nicer than me – a bit too nice, if
anything. And she’s your mother. How your lovely outrageous Nanna May could
produce a daughter like her is totally beyond me.”
“It
could have been a reaction against her,” Jenna said. “Just like I rebelled against my mum.”
“No,
I think Patricia was born old. How old is she?”
“Mum?
She’ll be seventy-five.”
“Well,
that’s younger than any of the Beatles or the Stones. The Swinging Sixties must have completely
passed her by.”
Jenna
laughed. “Indeed they did. Twinset and pearls, and a skirt below the
knee, that was my mum, even when she was in her twenties – I’ve seen the
pictures.”
“Whereas
my mum was living it up, spending a fortune at Biba and along the King’s
Road. That’s what got me into vintage,
you know, she gave me all her old clothes, and some of them were worth a lot of
money – Ossie Clark, Mary Quant, Zandra Rhodes, lots of other well-known
designers.”
“Wow. Did you keep any of them?”
“One
or two, darling, but my mum’s a lot smaller than me, in every direction, so I
didn’t fit most of them, even before I had kids. I’ve still got a few accessories, and a
gorgeous Ossie Clark dress I can just about squeeze into, but that’s it – I
sold the others online for quite a lot of money, bought some more, and the rest
is history.”
“Did
your mother mind that you sold all her stuff?
She must have been fond of it, to keep it all that time.”
“Mind? Hardly, she suggested it – in fact she told
me she’d kept the clothes as an investment for me. She was delighted I made such good use of
them. Now, spill the dirt, darling, how
are things going with your hunky Scotsman?”
Jenna
couldn’t help smiling at the description of Fran as ‘hunky’, a word usually
employed to describe unfeasibly muscle-bound Highlanders on the covers of
romantic novels. It really didn’t fit him
at all. She had wondered what she would
say if Saskia asked, and now seemed as good a time as any to take the
plunge. “Rather well, actually.”
“What?” Saskia’s shriek made her ear ring. “You mean you’ve done it?”
“Done
it?”
“You
know, darling, Done It. Bed. Shagging.
Humping. The Beast with Two
Backs. Making Love. Have you?”
“I’m
not sure I’d tell you even if we had,” said Jenna, trying and failing to sound
prim.
“You
mean you haven’t?” Saskia was obviously
shocked.
“We’ve
snogged a bit. Oh, all right, a
lot. But we’ve agreed to cool it for a while
– Flora’s going through a rather weird patch, we’re not quite sure what’s up
with her, so we decided not to complicate things any further.”
“Oh,”
Saskia said, sounding a little disappointed.
“But still, darling, I’m thrilled for you, I really am. I just knew you were right for each other,
he’s a lovely man and I’m sure you’ll be very happy.”
“I’m
not making you Matron of Honour, if that’s what you’re angling for.”
Her
friend’s laughter was almost as loud as her earlier shriek. “That’ll be the day! Take my advice, and don’t commit yourself to
anything. Particularly don’t let him move in.”
“Of
course not. He’s got his own place and
it’s only a couple of miles away, besides being about twice the size of mine. Anyway, that’s jumping the gun with a
vengeance. We’ve only just started going
out together – or, rather, staying in together.”
“What you do with your spare time is your own
business, darling.”
“I
thought you were trying to make it yours?”
Saskia
gave one of her deep, rich chuckles.
“OK, OK, I can take a hint. Now,
there’s something else I wanted to ask you. Is there any news of that baby?”
For
a moment, Jenna didn’t know what she meant.
Then she remembered that it was now March, and that Madison was due to
give birth soon. “No, I haven’t heard
anything.”
“Would
he necessarily tell you, given that you parted on such bad terms?”
“He
might not tell me, but he’d certainly tell the kids, he’d want to brag. Although they were pretty disgusted with him
when he sent them cheesy pictures of him and Madison being all
lovey-dovey. I suspect Joe sent him a
very rude message in response.”
“Go
Joe! I admire a man who tells it like it
is. No wonder Indy’s got a soft spot for
him. Well, let me know as soon as you
hear anything. And I know you’re not
meant to wish the sins of the parents onto the children, but I hope their
offspring turns out to be an ugly, unpleasant and ungrateful little beast.”
This
was so close to Jenna’s more unworthy thoughts that she couldn’t help laughing. “It’s not the baby’s fault! You shouldn’t say such things!”
“I
know I shouldn’t, but you know me, darling, like Joe I’m never afraid to speak
my mind. Anyway, I bet you anything you
like you’ve thought them, even if you
haven’t said them.”
“Touché!”
“I
knew it,” said Saskia with satisfaction.
“Anyway, the slimy love-rat deserves everything that’s coming to him,
and then some.”
“Can
we change the subject? I’ve been trying
not to think about Rick for months, and I don’t want to let him spoil my day.”
“OK,
darling, I get it. Right, there’s
something else I’ve been meaning to mention.
Have you done anything about your
ancestress with the weird name?”
“You
mean Merielina Leheup?”
“That’s
exactly who I mean. I’ve told Jon he’s
not to go off hunting her, but he took some persuading. So, have you discovered anything more?”
“Um
... I haven’t really had a lot of time recently,” Jenna said, aware how feeble
this excuse sounded. “I’m working four days
in the shop now, and the garden desperately needs sorting, and I’m still
tutoring Flora twice a week.”
“Oh,
come on, darling! How long does it take
to type a few letters into Google? You
really ought to pull your finger out.”
“You
don’t have to tell me – I know. But it’s
almost as if ... “ Jenna paused, trying to find the words. “Almost as if I don’t want to find out. I’ve
enjoyed the search so much, I don’t want it to end.”
Saskia’s
derisory snort showed what she thought of that.
“Well, you’d better hurry up or Jon will do it for you. Or I will.
We’re both desperate to know who made the casket, if I was in your shoes
I’d have finished it weeks ago.”
“Ever
heard of something called ‘delayed gratification’?”
“No,
but something tells me you’re about to enlighten me.”
“It’s
supposed to be one of the ways you can spot a psychopath,” said Jenna
blithely. “They can’t wait, they’ve
always got to have it now.”
“So
does any toddler, darling, but that doesn’t make them a serial killer.” Saskia chuckled again. “Anyway, I’ll treat that implication with the
contempt it deserves, and change the subject. Again. Is Rosie coming back for Easter?”
“I
think so, but I’m not sure when. The
week before, probably. What about
India? Would she like to come and
stay? I’m sure Rosie would love that.”
“Or
they could split the time between us,” Saskia said. “I’m likely to be busy, sales are really
picking up and summer dresses are flying out of the shop, but I should be able
to get some time off. How about you?”
They
spent the rest of the call making tentative arrangements for the holiday period,
which was early this year and now only a few weeks away. “Though we’d better check with the girls
first,” Jenna said, before she rang off.
“You never know, they might have decided to swan off to Ibiza instead.”
“In
March? Unlikely. Plus I know for a fact that India’s run
through all her term’s allowance already – I’ve already had to sub her
once. I don’t know what she spends it
on.”
“Probably
best not to ask,” Jenna said, deciding not to mention the fact that Rosie
seemed able to have a good time without draining her bank account. “Anyway, I’ve got to go, I promised to walk
Sammy this afternoon. Ruth will probably be round with him in a
moment, and I’ve got to put on all my waterproofs and thermals, it’s not a very
nice day.”
“You’re
a glutton for punishment, darling,” Saskia said. “I’m curled up with a steaming mug of hot
chocolate and an even more steamy Jilly Cooper on my Kindle. Have fun!”
Fun,
Jenna decided, fifteen minutes later, was not the right word. It was blowing a true mad March gale,
straight from the west, so there wasn’t much in the way of shelter on offer,
but at least it wasn’t too cold, and the rain which had fallen all morning had
now stopped. The halyards and stays of
the few boats moored near the quay clinked and rattled in the wind, and she
could hear the distant roar of the surf breaking onto the Ness. The grey sodden clouds were dark in the
distance, over the North Sea, but the rags of their rearguard chased wildly
after them across a new blue sky.
Studying it, she reckoned she had about half an hour before the next
band of rain and squally showers threatened, so it would be their usual walk
along the sea wall to Chantry Point, then back across the marshes, straight
into the wind, to the town. It was a
route she and Sammy knew well, and he ran on ahead of her, his ears and the
long black hairs on his tail blown comically sideways.
Since
that first, highly embarrassing walk when he had chased the ducks and she’d
been scolded by Marcus, Jenna had done her best to curb and channel the
spaniel’s enthusiasm. Now, she always
carried a pocketful of his favourite treats, as well as the essential poo bags,
and rewarded him lavishly every time he returned to her call. She was rather proud of her success, and
Ruth, unaware of these informal training tactics, had recently remarked how
much more obedient Sammy had become.
“He’s a changed dog, what have
you been doing to him?”
For
answer, Jenna had shown her the gravy biscuits, and Ruth had laughed. “So that’s your secret! Perhaps I’d better start doing that as
well. Though we’ll have to be careful he
doesn’t get fat.”
That
seemed highly unlikely: like all young spaniels, Sammy’s energy levels were sky
high. She called him, and he skidded to
a halt, plunged round, and headed back towards her at top speed. Jenna had brought her camera, and it was switched
on and ready: she took a series of action shots as he leapt over a tussock of
grass, and was pleased to see, on the display, that at least a couple of them
looked rather good. Those evening
sessions with Claire were certainly paying off: she was learning just what all
the various modes did, and had the confidence to make the most of her high-tech
kit and its numerous functions. It was
amazing what you could do with it, and she was trying to get into the habit of
taking it with her whenever she went out.
Claire’s view was that a good photographer didn’t just need an eye for a
potentially stunning picture – they needed to make the most of whatever
opportunity came along. Jenna hadn’t yet
tried the shot of Sammy shaking himself in the sunlight – it seemed rather
unkind to deliberately encourage him into the water when the weather was still
cold – but once the air warmed up, she was determined to give it a go.
There
were birds on the river up ahead, sheltering from the relentless wind, so she
put the dog on the lead and made him walk to heel. Sammy gave them a yearning glance, but she
towed him briskly along, helped by the administration of a biscuit, and soon
they were safely past. Jenna knew that
out of sight meant out of mind – he had a very brief attention span – but she
still left it a few more minutes before letting him run free again.
As
they came up to the place where the paths diverged, there was a dull vibration
deep in the pocket of her dog-walking coat, a padded waterproof parka, chosen
for practicality rather than fashion, and purchased last year in a Woodbridge
charity shop. At that moment, a
particularly violent gust of wind nearly pushed her sideways, down the steep
slope to the river. With an undignified
squawk of surprise, Jenna managed to regain her balance: the tide was out, and
she didn’t fancy landing in a foot of smelly mud and having to squelch
ignominiously back home. Sammy was
waiting for her – he wasn’t the sharpest knife in the box, but he knew where
they would be heading next. He followed
her down the bank on the other side, where the footpath crossed the marshes,
heading back towards the castle, and sat down at her command, tongue lolling,
while she fished the phone out and looked at the screen. She didn’t recognise the number. Wondering if it could be from one of the
twins, she opened it.
In
mocking refutation of her words to Saskia earlier, it was from Rick. And there was the photo she’d dreaded, of the
young, beautiful Madison, perfectly groomed and looking as if she’d just had a
relaxing session at some exclusive spa rather than giving birth, sitting up in
a hospital bed and cradling a small, pink-wrapped bundle.
‘Rick
and Madison Johnson are proud to announce the safe arrival of Harper Margaret Anne,
weighing seven pounds and five ounces, after a very easy labour lasting just
three hours. Mother and baby are doing
wonderfully well!’
As
if they didn’t belong to her, her fingers scrolled down the column of
delightful pictures of a small, perfect infant, with a shock of dark hair and,
horrifyingly, a definite look of Tom in her tiny, scrunched up face. Jenna felt sick, and all the old, vile
emotions came flooding back. She’d
thought she’d moved on, she’d thought she could be grown up about her
feelings. And now, with a vengeance,
Rick’s photos had brought it brutally home to her that she hadn’t, and she
wasn’t. She found that she wanted to
scream and shout, tell Rich to eff off in huge accusing capitals, and then throw the phone
in the dyke so that she wouldn’t have to see them ever again, that perfect
little family which had only been created by the destruction of her own
family.
She only
realised that she'd sunk to her knees on the wet dank grass when a bewildered
Sammy thrust his nose at her face and gave her a comforting lick. Feeling
suddenly ridiculous, Jenna looked down at the phone, but the screen had gone
dark. She turned it off and thrust it vehemently back into her
pocket. The dog did a little dance in front of her, and whined enquiringly.
“Sorry, Sammy,” she said, rather
shakily. There were tears on her face, and
she wiped them away with her sleeve. I am not
going to let him get to me, she thought fiercely, though she suspected that
the humiliating contrast between her, never conventionally pretty and at the wrong
end of her forties, and the dewy Madison, would come back to haunt her in the small
hours. He’s a smug, insensitive, arrogant twat, and I hope the baby screams all
night and Madison loses all interest in sex.
Feeling better, she scrambled to
her feet and looked around, but the flat bleak marshes around her were empty, and
there was no sound apart from some shrieking gulls and the endless rustle of the
wind in the rushes lining the dyke. Sammy
looked at her expectantly, and she managed a smile. “Come on, boy,” Jenna said briskly. “Let’s go home before we get wet.”
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